I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I intend to get homeless drunk
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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