got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
