apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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