You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
