He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
