the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
