I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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