Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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