I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
