so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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