Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
