hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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