saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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