That's intense
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
