My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
