What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
