It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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