he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize