I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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