her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I party with great urgency now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
