but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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