I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize