All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
