Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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