Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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