are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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