I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
