She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
