barbara walters just said penis...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
