Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
