You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
