he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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