He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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