Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
