dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
