My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
