Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
