The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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