Me too!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
