i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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