She said her name was "party"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
