Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize