I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
