you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
