I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
