Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

Fav 2 2966 723
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.

Fav 21 6057 940
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

Fav 50 1068 6756
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

Fav 23 8339 1027
share tweet
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

Fav 89 2235 26887
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

Fav 7 3107 1408
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

Fav 0 1400 868
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

Fav 3 655 448
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.

Fav 1 268 134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT