STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"