I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
