How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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