I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
