Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
