sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.