Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (1219) Bad night (594)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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  (202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv
  Replies (21) Good night (2027) Bad night (698)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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  (662): My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room. http://tfl.nu/yex2
  Replies (5) Good night (1681) Bad night (951)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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  (818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/1x7g
  Replies (28) Good night (6412) Bad night (829)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned

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  (607): Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned http://tfl.nu/r5xe
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (4934)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.

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  (563): You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing. http://tfl.nu/fl0p
  Replies (12) Good night (1987) Bad night (681)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (1078)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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  (717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (542)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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  (941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg
  Replies (8) Good night (1681) Bad night (862)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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  (847): My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital. http://tfl.nu/g98t
  Replies (3) Good night (1307) Bad night (467)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (1010)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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  (604): Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy. http://tfl.nu/syw5
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (449)
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  (213): View more from California

  She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

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  (213): She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay. http://tfl.nu/t6l3
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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  (240): Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin" http://tfl.nu/qnbq
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit

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  (336): You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit http://tfl.nu/n31s
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (138)

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