Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  you want me

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'd rather choke on a dick.

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  (773): you want me (978): i'd rather choke on a dick. http://tfl.nu/nrvz
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (1621)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (576) Bad night (1963)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

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  (405): I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh! http://tfl.nu/nhcn
  Replies (43) Good night (5055) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.

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  (408): Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0. http://tfl.nu/rypw
  Replies (30) Good night (4548) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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  (215): Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them. http://tfl.nu/quds
  Replies (19) Good night (5852) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (2923)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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  (609): just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore http://tfl.nu/abxm
  Replies (8) Good night (1112) Bad night (3468)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.

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  (530): Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed. http://tfl.nu/8sey
  Replies (12) Good night (927) Bad night (2991)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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  (703): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/3luk
  Replies (25) Good night (6274) Bad night (1926)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.

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  (224): update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories. http://tfl.nu/22b8
  Replies (6) Good night (1938) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK

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  (207): traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/1e7j
  Replies (4) Good night (3081) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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  (781): Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge? http://tfl.nu/a35e
  Replies (1) Good night (1454) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (875) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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  (323): Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah http://tfl.nu/389u
  Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything

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  (304): I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything http://tfl.nu/gg1p
  Replies (6) Good night (1244) Bad night (286)

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