and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.