i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
People in love make me want to vomit
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?