either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
