you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
