Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
