my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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