I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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