Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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