i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
