i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
