I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
